Sometimes it is good for us to take the time to reflect on what is in our heart and to ask ourselves, “What does my heart reveal? What excites me? What really matters to me? What motivates me? In what areas of my life do I become passionate? When do I rejoice? What makes me sad? What makes me laugh?”

There are many places in Paul’s letters where he reveals his heart. One example is found in Colossians 4:3-4. Paul is writing this letter while he is in a prison in Rome. The reason for his imprisonment is that he fervently preaches the gospel of Christ. He presents his prayer request to the Christians at Colosse. “…meanwhile praying also for us, that God would open to us a door for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in chains, that I may make it manifest as I ought to speak.” What really matters to Paul, what excites him, what motivates him, what he is passionate about is proclaiming the mystery of Christ and His gospel.

In II Corinthians 11, Paul remembers what he went through to share the gospel. Five times he was beaten with stripes (39 blows each time). He took thirteen blows on the breast, thirteen blows on the right shoulder and thirteen blows on the left shoulder. (Some prisoners died from such a beating.) Three times he was beaten with rods (a vine stick used by soldiers). On one occasion, he was stoned and dragged outside the city left for dead. He was shipwrecked three times. He endured the hardship which came from thieves, the wilderness, sleepless nights, the cold without proper clothing, the betrayal of false brethren, frequent imprisonments, an assassination plot, and other conspiracies. He suffered hunger and thirst, opposition resulting in rioting in the streets, and the heavy burdens of all the churches. With each blow and with each trouble and hardship, Paul’s heart beat with the love and desire to share Christ.

An atheist, who was an invalid, sent his little daughter to live with friends who taught her to read. Proudly she told her father, “I have learned to read”. “Well, let me hear you read that,” pointing to the board at the foot of the bed on which he had printed, “God is nowhere.” Carefully she read the words, “God is now here.” Her unbelieving father was startled and perplexed, but God used it to lead him to Christ. People live like God is nowhere, but with the clarity of God’s Spirit working through us, they can come to understand that “God is now here.” That is how Paul wanted to be used by God. That was what was in his heart.